The Doogie Diaries: Life vs. Death

Doogie Howser is truly "the Mortified OG". Every day, the young doctor hung up his lab coat, walked into his bedroom and tirelessly poured his heart into his digital daily journal.

If we could put adult Doogie on stage today, we would. If only Mr. Bochco would let him.

In the meantime, here's a peek a little Doog's private thoughts on life and death.

Because Kids Love Portly Middle Aged Men!

Many fans of our first book, Mortified: Real Words Real Pathetic, have expressed fascination with a chapter in which an overweight boy, Steve Scaia, wrote letters to Mr. Belvedere, a sitcom character from the 1980s.

We've always been fascinated with Steve's strange Belv obsession, too. Mostly because it's just kinda weird that a fat, balding, vaguely gay, mustache-ioed, middle-aged man would emerge as a childhood icon.



Fonzie, we get. Mr. T, we totally get. Belv, well, that's just kinda creepy. And yet, the fact remains-- kids truly loved him. For those who crave further proof of this bizarre blip in history, behold this bit of evidence.

Great Moments in Music Video Pretentiousness: Kate Bush

I've always had a secret thing for 1980s female electro-folk performance artists like Laurie Anderson, Kate Bush, Jane Siberry, and yes, even kinda Grace Jones.

But the reality is, for every great song these artists mustered up... there were a whole lot more that were, well, ridiculous. And it's because of my admiration for Ms. Bush that I proudly share the following exercise in historic music video pretentiousness.



Thanks to Underwired for the initial memory jog.

Thanks to Kate for also making many songs (You're the One, Rocket Man, This Woman's Work, etc) that most certainly did not creep my shit out.

How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?

Are you in love? I mean, are you really in love? Sure, you make think you know. But how can you be positive?

Ask Ted Danson and the Bateman sibs, that's how.



See? Mystery solved.

For more amazing advice on adolescent romance, check out Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield.